


Prank Wars: All's Fair In A Prank War

by HSBacklash01



Series: Prank Wars [1]
Category: G1/G2
Genre: Gen, Other, Prank Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-05 00:52:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3098891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HSBacklash01/pseuds/HSBacklash01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The jet trines have always been a tad bit, ah, competitive. Megatron thinks they've carried it too far.</p><p>In a prank war that's lasted <em>this</em> long?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prank Wars: All's Fair In A Prank War

Megatron panned from left to right at the six faces staring straight ahead, wishing the glare on his own would turn white-hot and send them streaming in rivulets to the floor. One transmitted an expression that was bland and resigned, another smiled apologetically. The middle face stood fiercely defiant, refusing to accept any responsibility, while the next-one-left displayed sheer annoyance.

"Would anyone care to explain," he began slowly, contorting hands hidden behind his back into fists, "why an entire passageway of deck ten, section three, floor and ceiling, is covered with this?" The Decepticon commander casually tipped over a large, dented dusky-gray bucket which sent a yellowish, viscous puddle oozing onto the floor. Glancing at the assembly he awaited a reaction; when not a one of them twitched or swayed, he carefully drew a finger through the glutinous emulsion and passed the sample micrometers under each nose. "As this substance  
is unfamiliar to me, and does not correspond with anything at present in the database, I will assume someone manufactured it. And, since all of you are covered with it, and are observed on surveillance throwing it, I will also assume you have intimate knowledge of its origins."

"It'll wipe right off...sir..."

Megatron strode to the speaker, who had trailed off under scrutiny. "Yes, Skywarp, it will, as you say, ‘wipe right off’. Unfortunately, it's removing most of the paint with it!" As he completed the revelation, five sets of optics targeted their attention on the center figure in the lineup, who mumbled expletives to himself.

"You - "

"Fraggin' - "

"You're a scrapped - "

"This is really - "

"Silence!" Megatron roared. The intimidations at the ooze's creator deceased with the echoing command. Any patience he made a pretense of possessing flaked away as chrome concealing rust. "I have had it! I have had it with the quarter-stuffing, repainting, rewiring of security and power panels, gluing, spraying, waxing the floors, chairs, consoles, unauthorized absences, welding others to walls, floors, ceilings, bulkheads, and everything else you've managed to inflict on each other, and to this base!"

"Ah, Megatron -"

The Decepticon commander spun and snatched the upraised blue finger in a fist. "Say it. Please do say it, Starscream. I would like nothing more than to be enlightened as to the reason for your inability to keep your troops in line," he ground out. Starscream managed to wrench his finger away before Megatron lurched to his left. "I know you had something to do with all of this insanity also, Skywarp!" The purple jet pulled his head back in surprise at the inclusion. "Starscream may have concocted this...slime...but you were the engineer of a majority of these undertakings, weren't you?" Skywarp endeavored to defend himself when a low voice sounded to his right.

"Those three had a hand in it, too."

Megatron sighted down the stealthily-accusing black digit. "Really, Thundercracker? Are you saying you were an unwilling party? Or did the large letters 'T' and 'C' happen to appear on Dirge's wings by magic?" Megatron smiled a bit too broadly and waved his hands. The Seeker widened his optics and pointed at himself. "Yes, I am saying you did it. I would think of the three you would have some maturity and discipline!"

Snickering drew him to the other end of the queue. "Ramjet. Should I mention your disabling a lift for an hour with Starscream in it? Or clogging up the ventilation system with confetti?" Ramjet grew suddenly interested in the weld seams in the floor; the mech tilted his head and shrugged noncommittally.

"I cleaned it all - "

"Thrust: attempts to flood three quarters, and succeeds in flooding an entire deck! Shuts down power to several critical areas while rewiring a door control!" Megatron shook his fist at the jet, who instinctively shied away.

"I didn't mean to - "

"And last, but not least: Dirge," Megatron said with mock admiration, presenting him to the rest with a flourish. "Dirge, who, in a method known only to him, and not yet repeated – you even have Soundwave perplexed with this one! - overloaded the audios of everyone in the entire complex not once, not twice, but three times in one week!" Dirge peered up disinterestedly at Megatron.

"The P.A. system has bugs," he replied slowly.

Megatron gaped, mouth ajar, suddenly slapping the side of his head with the heel of a hand. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that? The P.A. system has bugs!" He then began stomping in place, the strange dance causing all to back away. "I will have order, and discipline, and  
no-more-of-these-attempts-to-wreck-this-base!" Composing himself, the Decepticon commander stabbed a finger at them, which happened to be attached to his right hand, which, being attached to his right arm, had a fusion cannon mounted on it.

He mistakenly believed the order brought the intended understanding, when it was only the worry of becoming part of the wall behind them. "Any! - any further displays of this ridiculous rivalry manifests, and I will send all of you back to Cybertron! In very. Small. Pieces."  
The six remained motionless well after the thumping footsteps had retreated with their owner from the room.

"You're going to fix my paint job, Screamer," Thundercracker growled, pinning the Seeker between himself and Skywarp.

"If you had not bumped me when I was mixing it, this wouldn't have happened!" Starscream hissed in retort.

""Skywarp, ya better get all that shaving cream outta my quarters or I'll cram it in your intakes," Thrust threatened.

"Hey, Thundercracker!" Ramjet shouted, tossing a suspicious ball Dirge had handed to him. Thundercracker drew his attention too late to prevent pink carnations from blooming on himself.


End file.
